The South Bank Show: Fouls

While reading a review of the film New in Town just now I had an idea about how to conduct myself in interviews in the future. The reviewer wonders why Renée Zellweger "agrees to appear in such dross". Reading this elicited this little fantasy in my head:

Interviewer: [sycophantic, nervous] Looking back at your career, the films you have appeared in have been uniformly brilliant. I mean, ha!, most of the great actors have produced a couple of stinkers; it's just good form!
Me: [reclining, entirely failing to suppress a little grin while taking a smug sip of water] I've been lucky. My friends in this industry just do good work. I mean, I think, for a lot of people, for a lot of actors, they have these obligations to other people in the business, you know, to be polite or whatever. So, you know, a lot of the time when people get accused of selling out or doing it for the money or whatever it's really just out of a... out of wanting to avoid rudeness. I just work with talented people; they give me these great scripts and I know I can trust the producer and, you know, the director's a visionary [complacent chortle] and we just make the movie and I've never had to worry about pissing anyone off or anything.